As you know, Dear Reader, I have made no secret of my hunger for man cream, after all how else can you make a sale if you don't advertise? Anyway, not...to put too fine a point on it, Andy, my cellmate, is quite clearly a homophobe. There isn't an insult that he hasn't spat at me but, unfortunately for him, there isn't anything that he can say which I haven't already heard a hundred times before. As he pathetically attempts to conceal his mounting excitement, I almost feel sorry for him. He knows. As soon as you make your way over to Jake he looks up from his notebook to great you. "Hey, The Name's Jake..what's yours?" he asks. You stutter out "My..uh..My name is John Doe." Well it's nice to meet ya! Say you haven't been introduced to the guys yet have ya?" he says. "..Well..No, not really I don't know anyone here yet. I feel sorta left out.." you say with a groan. Jake just smiles and nods "Well don't worry about that..we'll make ya feel more welcomed then you want!" Jake says his grin. More

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