Tyler joins in, trying to wrestle Dad off me so he can have his turn. Then we’re all involved in a wrestling match, trying to pin each other. Dad fa...ls over with a pretend desperate cry and we pounce, using teamwork to pin him. Tyler counts three and Dad flops over in defeat. Then we sit back up and watch the TV, cheering for our favorite wrestlers. A tear rolls down my face as I pry myself from the memory. A few years later, my world is turned upside down. My suddenly alcoholic father is gone. That number didn’t even include guys like him. Guys she had already been with earlier on. She wondered if maybe that was why she’d been so willing to do him almost whenever he’d asked. At least with Greg (and sadly, Matt) there was a sense of comfort and familiarity. It wasn’t just a one-off blowjob in some dude’s truck or in a bathroom stall. As fucked up as it was, the couple of guys she was giving it to regularly were the closest things she had to a relationship. To intimacy. To feeling. More

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