“Then don’t deny me.” She lifted an arm, beckoning. My feet moved on their own as my hands had before, bringing me toward her though my inside w...s tearing in two, unable to reconcile my growing desire with the instinctive uncertainty I felt. I wanted to flee. I wanted to push her down on the bed and have her. My mind screamed at me to run, my body screamed at me to take her. I resisted, and froze on the spot, neither going forward nor back. “No.” Why would God do this? Sending me this. Mrs. Adkins, a nurse had revived me out of my faint with some smelling salts that she kept in her purse. She had then helped me take a cold shower. When we had reached the hospital, Mom and I had held onto each other for ten minutes and then other people began to arrive. I had ended up in a chair next to the door. Brad had gone out to get me a soda, but I went ahead and left the hospital.Joyie had wanted to come with me, but I had told her I needed to be alone and asked her to come and get me. More

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