Awoman in every way possible." I don't think that I have ever met a trans-person before," he said."So, I hope you don't mind me asking, are you attrac...ed to men?" I always have been. And, I hope you don't mind me asking, are youattracted to women?" Of course." And, could you be attracted to me?"It seemed like a very forward question. Here was a woman (for that waswhat she was) whom he had just met, who was talking to him openly aboutvery private and personal matters. The honesty was. Nothing more I wanted.Maybe if I had wanted love, I could have seen a way to have Joey. I didn't and I couldn't and no irrational, hysterical emotional breakdown in the middle of the night could change that.Pharaoh, however, seemed to love me as much as anyone could. It was time for me to grow up, accept reality and let go of this foolish image of a love that did not exist. Pharaoh was here, now. Joey was over. Pharaoh was as close to love as I could get. That would have to be enough. I could. More

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