I swear, Mom, it was about ten inches long and big around as a baseball bat! He said, ‘Either you jump out that door or I’m sticking this bad boy ...ight up your ass.’”“So, did you jump?” asked her mother.“A little at first.”Today is my baby girl’s 18th birthday. I be so glad that this be my last child support payment! Month after month, year after year, all those payments!So I call my baby girl, LaKeesha, to come to my house, and when she get there, I say: “Baby girl, I want you to take this. He’s clumsy about it, nearly tripping out of his boxers. I look back to find the man in all his naked glory. He could’ve been a bear in another life with how fuzzy he was. A thick coating of brown hair covered him from head to toe it seemed, hiding his soft white skin, but accentuating his beer belly. I shook my head and turned back to face you, giving a roll of my eyes at your choice for this. You just wink at me, as if knowing I’m going to like it regardless.Ernie comes to stand behind me. “I. More

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