I will drop him, but not quite yet. I think I should drop him hard when I do. I want him to see that he has lost me and that I never really cared abou... him at all. I want him to see that he is a loser who is not good enough for me, not rich enough for me.I will be sorry to lose him as a lover, he is the best I've ever known. But that's all.NO! That's not me. Those thoughts are hateful. I worship him like I know he worships me. I don't want to lose him.I don't care about him ... I do care ... I. ’ it seemed to say. I was beginning to wonder why I ever considered not coming. This was where I was meant to be, this is where I was safe. Only now did I realise how much I was looking forward to the time away, after almost a year of six day weeks and ten hour shifts, I now felt time beginning to catch up. Further into the hills and mountains, where the life died out and nature took over, the simple beauty of the views made me feel so full of emptiness that my chest ached and I felt tears. More

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