My stepmom seized upon them and placed them on me and the room erupted inlaughter, even the old woman giggled as she blew a plume of smoke from herCap...i Menthol 120. I was ordered to go to the bathroom and look at myself. I stumbled around,having trouble measuring depth perception and looked in the mirror. Everythingwas fuzzy and I had to practically press my face to the mirror to see what Iwould have called, in my wild days, the "gayest" glasses I've ever seen. Theywere brown and big squares. * * * * *Okay, okay. Enough third-person narrative. This is Carl. And it's time to abruptly shift viewpoints from third person to first person, because this is where my part in this little sordid tale continues..."Yeah, it's me," I announced to Sally and Cindy."How did you get in here?" Sally asked frantically."Jerry gave me a key to his apartment," I said, lying to Sally. Cindy was the one who had actually given the key to me."So what are you doin' here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?". More

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