When I came back out she was sitting on a bench, double-fisting the beers. She handed me mine about a quarter empty by now, “So you won’t spill on...me again,” she said with a smirk and lifted her leg up so it was resting over me as I sat down on the bench. I pulled a paper towel out of my pocket and started dabbing at her leggings which were skintight around her ankles. I wiped a bit off the exposed skin between there and her shoes, trying to sop up as much of my spill as possible. There wasn’t. ‘Yep. You never know, I might get to see under it too!’ I joked. He was an old school friend, and he knew that I was still a virgin – I’d made no bones about it. 28 years old, famous across the planet, and I’d never gotten laid. Oh well – better not worry about it. I’m not like other men, let me assure you – that’s not just arrogance, either. I know I’m not – I don’t think about sex all the time. I have little use for sex, and I’ve deadened myself to it. It’s become a long-standing joke among. More

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