Immer wieder musste ich dabei keuchend innehalten, wenn mir erneut Isas Gesicht vor Augen trat und es jedes Mal schmerzhaft bis in meine Hoden zog. Al... ich mich ausgezogen, notdürftig gereinigt und mir ein Badetuch um die Hüften gewunden hatte, zog ich die Bettwäsche ab und rollte alles zu einem Knäuel zusammen, den ich mir unter den Arm schob. Konnte ich es wagen, so auf den Flur zu gehen? Ich drückte vorsichtshalber die Rolle fest gegen den Schritt, als ich die Schlafzimmertür sacht öffnete. Who knows how much money he must have poured into distracting us, but he probably could have purchased the real thing instead of the fuzzy, plush, entirely too comfortable human-size teddy bear. But Ted Danson (our dad picked the name) became part of the family, a symbolic memory of how our family got through the tragedy.Technically it was both of ours, but it had to stay in one room. And while I got visitation some nights, as time went on my dad became less vigorous about enforcing the rule. More

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