Then he called thelocal midwife who had helped with Amanda's baby. Noluck there, I wasn't the only expectant mother inlabor that night.Dean then decid...d without being told and called Sam,my nurse."Sam, dad's in labor. I can't reach Dr. Blaylock andthe midwife is with someone else." I'll be right over," was all that Sam said.Jennifer's first job was getting the delivery roomready. The clinic wasn't set up for deliveringbabies so Helen and I had set up my den and thebaby's room as a delivery. Clean and hot and desensitizing, destroying prints and calluses, burning away bacteria, boiling needles to the surface of my skin. Mindless, hopeless activity. I sit in the shower without forgiven and need and lust and longing. The scars will never vanish. Never fade completely. But remind me of the torture of trust, the fool who gives over. The emptiness that follows desire. All of it written in stitches across the scars and curves of fingerprints from homemade thread and sewn with the needles. More

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