In my madness a plan came to me.I had, first, to get away from his surveillance. Richard was always a step ahead of me. How did he know where I was, w...ere I went? How did his men always intercept me? How indeed? Maybe he was having me tailed. That's what Mickey said. But maybe he had a fix in with Mickey. Or maybe he had me wired. I had to slip everyone.I was mad, but not demented. I knew I had to be methodical. I hired another investigator to do a discreet check for electronic eavesdropping. The soundwas wonderful but I needed to reconcile the nature of Sara with everyoneclose to me. Many of my male friends wouldn't understand. Some in thebike club might but it would be dependent upon how I came out.Just that phrase seemed weird. I may be wearing a dress and heels but Ididn't see myself as a gay man, but as a female. I wanted to love women,be nearer to them and live as one. Was I possibly a lesbian; that didn'tregister except when I'd walk by the mirror. I slipped off my heels. More

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