I explained to her for the hundredth time that I was a salesman and I had to travel, that was my job. She yelled at me and said I should be at home li...e other husbands staying at home and protecting my family. She always said shit like that to piss me off. I told her if anyone tried to attack her we had a pistol in the end table next to our bed. What was a guy to do? Lots of men traveled. Did their wives always complain? Maybe I should get a job where I didn’t travel. I would talk to her about. "I have him locked in his carrying-cage in the back ofmy Suburban right this very instant." Oh Susan, you have made my day," I said gratefully. "It's too hot tokeep him locked up in your Suburban," I added as we both got to our feetand began walking toward the front door."I did make him drink four large waters before we left," she said, by wayof an explanation. "And just to be a little mean I filled his pantieswith ice cubes and covered him with a plastic training diaper so he can'tget away. More

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