I let her go and she began admonishing me."Don't tell me sorry over something you had no control of. And I worryabout you crossing the street or goin... down stairs. It's called beinga mother. So, don't apologize." As she let go, Jenny instantly tookher place in the hugs. I didn't say anything to her. I think she knewhow bad I felt, mostly because she whispered into my ears "You betternot" which got me giggling. As we broke the hug, Jenny just smileddown at me and sat partially on the bed. . I caught myself doing it; going back and forth in that sissyhaze of self-doubt and questioning.At lunch, I decided to eat alone cause I had to think, and my throatsituation helped to keep people away from me thinking I had bronchitis orwhatever. I went to the park - a beautiful late fall day in the city, alittle chill in the air and the buzz of life all around. Then ablessing: HR called on my cell and said to take the rest of the day offsince I wasn't feeling well and they didn't want me. More

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