I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door and headed straight towards my car.Lo and beh...ld, my entire future family was standing outside all clapping!With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"So the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.Tarzan & Jane are swinging. He hated that fucking gemstone. He hated the humid breeze, caressing his flesh with nothing but chill. He hated the sounds coming from below him and the rattling of the windows like monkeys in cages. He hated so much these days.He hated himself. He hated his scars. He hated his blonde hair and it's course curling. He hated being sober, and he hated lying to his "parents." He hated them. He hated his red bedroom and the cold floors. He hated the memories—and—he—fucking—loathed—Bella—Swan.Edward. More

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