Well, I think they still do. I haven’t heard from him in ages.”“You called him your boyfriend before.”“I think I said there wasn’t really ...nother word to use that made sense, and that we weren’t steady.”“You’ll forgive me if I don’t remember.”Anna laughed softly, “It’s not as if it was important from your perspective.”“I do remember you said you met him through playing chess.”“Yes. It was in December of ‘77. The Milford Chess team came to Turpin to play. Steve and his friend Mary psyched out. My deepest fear was realized time and again…no one wanted me, for any amount of time. I always fucked up and they always walked away. There was an empty bottle of wine that lay shattered against the locked door. I didn’t know why I had locked it. No one would be coming to see me, to save me. This was my own personal hell, created for and by me. This is where I would live, the monstrosity of pain that I had built on trying to be what no one really wanted. I had not eaten for days. The hunger. More

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