Memorable because I would think of all those gorgeous girls all around me. Depressing because that would be another night all alone, solitary within a...crowd of hundreds of people.Well, at least I’d use my time proactively. That meant drinking my beer, smiling, and enjoying all the women around me. Looking at their beautiful bodies was my favorite sport. I tried to picture their panties under their skirt, or imagine them undressing just for me.I would exploit the memory of the most outrageous. I can see three bags of my pasty, drug-sweetened gruel hanging on high wall hooks behind me. I can see the chains the shackle me to my chair. So maybe I'm just a crybaby.After all, I've dreamed of surrendering all control and responsibility to a cruel, impossible-to-please temptress, and my mistress is indeed as mean and cruel as they come. I worship her and live only to obey her.So why do I whine?Because I find myself slipping further and further into a sub-human state of submission. Day by. More

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