Today you succeeded in making me do the same thing and I hate it and I hate myself for it. I don’t blame Cecilia. I don’t even really blame you. I...could have refused, but now I feel guilty and dirty and ashamed of myself. Not because I cheated on you. This was your idea and you did everything you fucking could to make it inevitable for all involved. I feel awful because I betrayed my marriage. Maybe that was what you were aiming for, wanting me to feel tarnished so you’d feel we were equal. I’d. “So catch me up,” I said, “What have you done since Army ROTC Summer Camp?” I was trying to deflect my intense interest in her. As she spoke, I caught only snippets of the conversation. I was desperately hoping for a second chance to revisit what had once been a fantasy come true. “Economics Major.” “Magna cum Laude.” “Quartermaster School.” “Company Command.” “So what will I be doing for you?” she asked. I was lost in my thoughts and didn’t catch her question until she had asked it twice. I. More

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