My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." What about that eye patch?" Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a ...lock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those. I asked her to kneel in front of the bottom railing so i could see how high it was. Not, questioning it, she obeyed. "Hey, Sally i go something for you," I said showing her a chinese finger trap."Cool, what's that?" she asked."I'll show you." I put in on her finger and put her hands behind her back. I put her other finger in, effectively handcuffing her. "It's a puzzle."She pulled at it and couldn't figure it out. Still on her knees, i tied each of her pigtails to the railing."I give up. . More

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