Idon't know the first thing about being a mom, let alone everything elseon top of that.Take a deep breath Joann. Wait, what the fuck? Joann? My name i... Jo.Yeah. Jo, short for Joann. That's not right, why can't I say my name?What the actual fuck... Oof. What the hell was that? It came from insideme...? No. No fucking way. Was that the baby?Oh my god I'm like five seconds from losing it. Okay, think Joanna. Goddamn it. Think Jo. Think! What could possibly have causes this?"Alec wait for Mommy, so. .. that being numbers one through three, above. Those were the real problems here. Number four was just sort of an add-on conundrum. And I STILL hadn’t figured all of it out. Oh well.)I filled a glass with water from the sink, and I went back to the living room, where Joe remained stretched out on the cold floor. Slowly, I poured the contents of the glass onto his face from an altitude of four feet; and after about ten ounces, he came to sputtering consciousness. He blinked several times before. More

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