“Do you know how I got my stage name, Vincent Vincette?” he asked,“No, I was wondering about that.”“Well, Vincent is my real first name, so ...hat’s obvious, but Vincette sounds the same as the French for the number twenty-seven, vingt-sept.”“OK, so what?” I asked, a little confused.“Well, that’s my penis measurement. Twenty-seven centimeters fully erect. It has more of a ring to it than ten point six, which is what it is in old inches.”“Yes, I think I’d agree with you there.”It certainly. The PM slammed her hand down on the desk, startling me to silence.“For goodness sake, Lovett, pull yourself …..” and then she lost it again.Two days later, Ms Pearl Barley arrived at Number 10. Her two front teeth were huge and shaped like an inverted V. This gave her ‘S’s” a sibilant quality as if she were whistling. I do not mock, I assure you but I was in danger of laughing merely because of her name and the memory of cracking up with Tenant a few days before. I delivered her to a reception. More

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