” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, �...Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”A little girl and boy are fighting. She was trapped between me and the counter, but charged at me full speed. Unable to think of anything better to do, I grabbed her around the shoulders and threw her on the ground.“Don’t kill me! Don’t kill me! Holy Mother Full of Grace, protect me from...” She started to chant as I walked towards her.“Shut up already and relax!” I snarled as I climbed on top of her.With that, the woman was suddenly silent.“What’s wrong with your teeth?” She asked softly.“Uhm. Uhmm.” I babbled.“And your eyes.. More

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