I could tell. But didn't say anything. I broke eye contactwith her immediately and went back to studying the display wall.The woman in front of me was...taking forever explaining this and thatabout what was wrong with her shoes. I was getting anxious. I wasthinking about leaving the store without even getting Sarah's shoes."Can I help you, miss?" a woman said. I hadn't noticed that the shoeman's wife had joined him at the counter and was ready to help me whileher husband dealt with the impatient. Sure as I’m speaking, he was as high as a kite.And he yelled to his team, but it didn’t sound right.Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,Either slow down this rig or I’ll cut off your nuts.Look out for the lamp post, and don’t hit the tree,Quit shaking the sleigh, ‘cause I gotta go pee.They cleared the old lamp post; the tree got a rub,Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.I. More

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