..I sagged to my knees, my hands still clutching that railing. I felt ... wasted. Empty. Alone. I looked up at the sky, but I didn't really see anythi...g. I didn't want to see anything. I felt ... impotent.It wasn't a good feeling.Calm. Relax. Quiet. The words scorched through my brain, but they had no meaning. They were just sounds, noises I had once heard.Calm Relax. Quiet. The words held no power over me. There was no center for me to find because there was no me. I had finally lost it. I was. At least until the next morning when the exact same thing happened again. The very first time I dropped back to pass, the sensation returned. No way was I spending another 30 minutes with Madame de Sade in her torture chamber, so I pretended everything was normal. I made it through another rotation but when I returned to line, the trainer snuck up behind me and jabbed me in the back.I almost dropped to my knees."Damn you," I hissed. "Will you get away from me?"She just shook her head, took my. More

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