Soon, that wasn’t enough. I asked Jonathan to teach me. He did. He taught me how to shoot a gun, how to wield a knife, how to fight, how to tolerate...and inflict pain, and most importantly how to keep it all separate so that it wouldn’t affect me. By the end of that first year, Jonathan and I were no longer lovers, we had moved beyond that. He was my friend, my mentor, my teacher. I was an eager student. There was something inside me that wanted to be able to snuff out a life and still remain. I searched through the closet while Nolan took his shower and I listened to the rest of the house stir awake. I could not find anything that was cute and kind of sexy to wear so I decided to go ask my sister. She always had the cutest clothes and I was sure she would be able to loan me something. “Natasha,” I said loudly as I knocked on her bedroom door. It took her a minute but soon she opened the door. Natasha was nineteen but still lived at home. She decided to stay living with mom and dad. More

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