Before, I was walled off, emotionally, focused on doing whatever it took to get my fix -- and trying not to think about how I was lying, cheating and ...tealing and using people. I couldn't get emotionally involved with anyone under those circumstances, as it would only hurt us both. Once my 'fix' had an emotional component -- and really didn't involve hurting anyone -- I could open up; in fact, I had to in order to be effective. I was sad for some of these guys -- and helping them and giving. Tabhi mere man me ek khyal aaya agar is aurat ko raaji kar liya jaaye tab mujhe shanti mil sakti hai. So maine usse puchha ki aap phal bechkar ek din me kitna kama leti hai, usne bataya ki lagbhag 100rs. Aa jate hai, tab maine use bola ki agar mai aapko 100 rupaye sirf 2 ghante ke dunga agar tum mera kahena manogi to. Usne bola karna kya hoga maine bola tumhe apne jism ko agale 2 ghanto ke liye mere hawale karna hoga. Pahle to wo thora sharmayi par wo taiyaar ho gayi. Maine darwaja ko lock kiya. More

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