” (Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energ... to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it)If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it)A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig.)Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig. "I hope I'm not disturbing you," she continued. "You look as if you'rebusy" Not really. I'm just reading the 'wanted' ads," said I, blushing madly."Relax," she said. "I don't bite, and my name is Francine. What's yours?And I know what it's like hunting for work.It can be a real worry." I'm John, and I'm sorry for staring but you took me by surprise. Theredoesn't seem to be much in the paper anyway." Well, I'm lucky. I just got a new job here and I've been flat-hunting andI've been lucky there. More

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