I just wanted the pain to take away all my other thoughts. Thoughts about my own shame of being gay of what my parents thought about it. Of how they t...ied to brain wash me into being straight. I was traumatised. I knew I was but I just wanted someone to come along and take control. I was useless at being in charge of my own life. I was killing myself slowly. I had wandered into the club looking for someone sadistic to play with me when Mattie had seen me. She came over and spoke to me, . I told “Stop it don’t talk like this” and switch of my mobile. He send me more than 50 sorry msg and try to reach me but i went to sleep.Then next day in the college , he asked me sorry but i shown my face to show him am angry with him but am not angry with him. One week later, I came to know jayalakshmi becoming close with karthik . So I accept his sorry and start talking normally. Now I though of use his innocent behaviour to lead a secure life. One month later , I bought a new system. I got. More

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