It all started one Tuesday afternoon when a bunch of us stopped for a beer after work. What usually happens when a bunch of guys get together after wo...k is the conversation starts about the work place, progresses to sports, and usually ends up being about women. This time was no different. We started on the relative merits of our new supervisor and we concluded he was an asshole; moved to the topic of the new merit review plan which had just been put in place which led to a conversation about. People know it happens, and most call it perverted. The ones who do it just call it advanced masturbation. There was, technically speaking, no law against having sex with yourself. Still, it was my first time, and I was a bit nervous, so I asked, “Does this work?” “Oh yeah,” future me replied. “I had an awesome time. I hope it’s as good the second time around.” “I’ll do my best.” “I know,” she said and winked. My nerves began to subside; I’d not only get through this, but be eager for more. More

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