It would be wonderful to wake up gentle and slow like I used to do in my younger days. I used to enjoy the delightful transition from slumber to wakef...lness. No such luck. Personal plumbing issues are now at the top of my morning’s To-Do List.I groaned as I rolled away from Alice and searched under the heap of clothes I used as a makeshift pillow. I breathed a sigh of relief when my fingers found my torch. My sigh turned into a groan. Each LED bulb glowed no brighter than a dying firefly.Damn. ” “Oh Ralph,” replied Debra, “You’re such a romantic. To tell the truth, I have huge nipples and I wish you were here 10 minutes ago. I farted a what seemed to be about a 6.3 on the Rickter scale. That’s a base 10 logarithmic local magnitude scale that measures torsion seismometer output.” continued Debra, “My poop hatch is like a dutch oven of rotting vegetation, air biscuits, flatus, cut cheese and quief. That particular fart was a real cheek flapper of gaseous intestinal by-products. I. More

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