"Baby, I needed to use your laptop today while you were at work," she started "and I saw some things that I really need to talk about."Her abruptness ...topped me in my tracks, and I could feel a lump the size of my fist forming in my throat. I was angry that she went searching through my computer but I knew I had to deal with the matter at hand rather than react to this perceived breach of my privacy. I took a deep breath and prepared to tell the woman I loved something that I had not admitted. For example: Ricky, the (what is it? Eighteen? Okay!) 18-year-old high school student (he’s been held back four times. Four times, get it?) who mows my lawn in the summer was doing so on a really hot day last August. He had his shirt off as he did so, and I was ten times hotter than the actual temperature as I watched him. Furiously fingering myself, I would have gotten off if it hadn’t been for the barking of Snoopy, the stupid fucking dog he brings everywhere. (Christ, it’s not even a beagle,. More

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