I was hit harder than anyone else in our family by that one.I came so many times, imagining your hair in my hands, that handsome head between my thigh.... My eyes would then open in the dark and I’d be holding nothing but thin air, alone with my tears. I’d tighten my fist, my nails piercing my skin, hard, until I’d bleed, hating myself, hating my life, though no one ever noticed the cuts. Why was I cursed like this? I didn’t know, I’d never know. I knew I could never have you, that there would. Since the man was in his 30's i figured he had to have an apartment or a house so I suggested we go there. Gary mentioned he was married and could not take me home. So I asked if his wife was there and he said she was at work and not due home for a few hours. I said perfect she is not home but he was worried the neighbors would see him bringing home a man to his house when his wife was out. I thought about it and asked who lived behind him and if the property had trees i could cut through. More

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