All gone. Replaced with nothingness. Maybe one day I’ll again appreciate what we had. Right now, I just hurt so much. Sorry. That wasn’t very fai.... Some kinda man I turned out to be. Just a 58 year-old has-been without a future. Fuck, all married people lose a spouse. Eventually. Some sooner than others. Most everybody else seems to be able to cope. What’s wrong with me? God but it hurts. I glance up at the sky. Huge, dark cumulus clouds block the sun and promise yet another day of relentless. The boy’s heat was like a small inferno all down his naked back. He was hungry to just sink into that delicious fire. Out on the terrace however, the other guys all exchanged glances, some with a private smile, some with a bemused shake of the head. ‘How does he do it?’ Dominic chuckled and settled back down on his lounger to complete his all over tan. Xavier brightened at the news that they were going out. He had been fairly content to just hang out, relax, and soak up the peace and quiet. More

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