But how, she wondered, had she allowed herself to take sides in a battle that she cared nothing about? She had no dog in that fight! Could it be becau...e she had decided to allow Alan Dean to be the one to formally take her maidenhead, albeit symbolically because her own fingers had long since obliterated that virginal obstacle?She shook her head as if to clear cobwebs, to put Melody Dean from her mind. Her thoughts for the next few hours would be only about the thrill that she anticipated as. I’d sent him home to get some sleep. I glanced around the room. Thirty more isolettes, just like Matthew’s, lined the room. Other moms stared into their own plastic boxes. Maybe someone else did understand. Maybe I wasn’t alone. We were like a secret club – mothers with sick babies – membership not recommended. I wanted to breastfeed, but he was too little. The nurse gave me a breast pump, showed me how to use it, and instructed me to save my breast milk in the freezer. It had to be labeled –. More

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