Don't laugh, please. Quite why my Motherlumbered me with such a ridiculous name I'm not sure. I'd imagine ithad appealed to her quirky nature, the kin... of contrarian attitudethat took her to leave home at 16 and marry a bricklayer. I never metthe bricklayer, he had taken his bag of bricks and moved on when herealised that 18 was too young to be lumbered with a wife and child,but I'm told that I look a little like him. That my small stature andsmall eyes must have come from his genes, because. “How the fuck do you know that?”“You’ve been dreaming about it.” He smacked her hand with his shovel and she dropped him. “I know everything that goes on in here, you know.”“How?” She tried to grab him again, but he moved just out of reach to scoop up some sand in his bucket.“I have a theory about it, actually.” He flipped the bucket upside down on the sand and then lifted it. The resulting cylinder was almost six feet tall, and the bucket shriveled up like a used balloon. “Wanna hear?”“Do I. More

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